Weddings and Funerals

Let's think about this...... How honest are we at weddings and funerals?  Really? 
We promise at weddings - 'til death do us part' - yet over and over again - parting comes waaayyyy before death.  Promises are pretty shallow anymore.   Sure - when the promise is made - the parties making it may believe what they're saying.  But can you really predict the future?   Did you really see your 'true love' at their worst?   Often we show our best to impress and the real underlying faults and cracks in our psyche don't rear up their ugly heads until after the promise is made, the papers are signed and ownership of all is 1/2 and 1/2.   So then what?  Leave?  Lose all the stuff?   Often for the sake of sanity the answer is yes - but often things drag on indefinitely - creating two miserable souls bound to each other based on a promise, staying together for whatever reasons: the kids, the money, the dog, the inconvenience... the list goes on and on. 

And funerals....oh where do we begin.....
I've been to too many in my lifetime - that seems to happen when you get older.   And I can not tell you how many times I have seen people stand up at the podium, and spout off all the wonderful traits the deceased had and how much they will miss them.....when everyone in the room knows they hated each other in life!!!   And the survivors - the families and friends.   So lost, not ready to give up their loved ones - so many unrealized dreams.  The pain and devastation in their eyes so very evident.  And yet, there's the few - that should get an emmy - for the best "what am I gonna do without them" show - falling on the floor, screaming, wallowing around like a walrus on a beach, carrying on like they're having an active seizure and nearly foaming at the mouth.  The funeral is all about them - not the deceased in their eyes.   So...all eyes should be on them....all condolences belong to them....all comments should be about them.... what a dishonor to the deceased!

So what's the solution?
HONEST and REAL.   No put ons from the start.   What you see is what you get.   There's someone out there that is perfect for you and can put up with your craziness - you just gotta wait for them.  Scaring a few a way is just part of the journey.   Most trips are about the journey - not the destination anyway!!
And at your loved-one's the end - suffer silently and respectfully.  It's not all about you.   You aren't the only one who took the hit and are suffering the loss.   There are parents, siblings, spouses, children, grandchildren, best friends, and co-workers and more who all feel the pain as well and could use a hug, a pat on the back, a kind word.